Hard to Leave You
by Upsgirl88
Summary: This is a sequel to Stay With Me but can be read as a standalone as well. Life is finally normal. Carol is Mayor of the Alexandria Safe Zone and her and Daryl are a happy couple. But one day Daryl is kidnapped while out on a run. He's returned to the group but he's different. When Carol finally finds out why and what happened to him... Things could change forever...
1. Chapter 1

Carol woke to something hard pressing against her ass. She smiled. Apparently Daryl was looking to start the day off with a bang. She stretched and sighed, rubbing herself against his erection, letting him know she was awake and very willing.

Daryl lifted her leg and slipped inside, then pulled her body flush against him. It had been a few days since they'd made love and Carol was enjoying it very much. Since their physical relationship had started after they settle into the Alexandria Safe Zone, they had been intimate regularly. But Carol had been so busy with the expansion of the wall, supervising and planning the finer details, as well as continuing her weapon training with Daryl and offering a sniper class of her own... Things had been pretty crazy.

She sighed and arched her back, pressing her ass into him, taking him deeper each time he thrust towards her. Whatever had made him decide he wanted to be with her that morning, Carol was very thankful. Whether it was the simple fact it had been a while and he was horny, or because he was going on a run that would take him away for most of the day… it didn't matter. Carol was happy with the reminder of what they'd been missing.

The release was incredible. It was shocking how much pent up sexual frustration had been building without her even realizing it. "I needed that, so much," she said, rolling over and leaning against his chest.

"Me too," Daryl agreed, stroking her hair, lovingly.

"I wish we could just stay here… do this all day," she sighed.

"Me too," he said again, with a lazy smile. "But Glenn's gonna be bangin' on that door any minute if I don't get my ass downstairs."

"And I'm willing to bet Abraham is pacing, cursing, and grumbling because I'm late for the start of the next phase," Carol giggled. She could just picture him strutting back and forth, his face turning the shade of his hair the longer she made him wait. "Oh well, some days it pays to be Mayor. I make my own hours and no one can tell me different."

"Must be nice," Daryl teased, climbing out of bed and finding clothes to put on. Carol followed his lead and they headed to the bathroom together. It took her a while to get used to sharing and actually peeing in front of him. But by that point it was pretty much second nature. She brushed her teeth and washed her face while he went pee and then they switched. Carol washed her hands again and they left only a couple minutes later.

Life was relatively normal. But it took them all a long time to get back into a routine that somewhat resembled a normal life. She could remember when they first arrived she slept fully clothed, clutching a weapon, ready to fight at a moments notice. The group had spent the first night in one house, even though they had been given three. Eventually they began to trust their hosts and Rick developed a good relationship with the current Mayor, Douglas. When his wife was killed during a walker attack Douglas never recovered. He ended up taking his own life and asking Rick to lead his people. Rick didn't think he was the right one to lead them all, he was comfortable being the sheriff and looking after defence. He decided Carol was the perfect person to lead the community and she agreed to do it, somewhat reluctantly at first.

But it really hadn't taken her long to start to feel comfortable in her role and by that point she absolutely loved it. People looked up to her and trusted her decisions. And Carol felt like she was contributing to the best of her ability. It felt like she was finally where she belonged. It helped to have Daryl by her side. Without his support and encouragement there were moments Carol was sure she never would have survived.

They had a quick breakfast with Glenn and Maggie. Carol could tell that Daryl had been right, Glenn was itching to get out the gates and start the run. "Gonna go find Aaron and meet you by the gates," he announced after stuffing half a muffin in his mouth. Maggie rolled her eyes and followed him out the door.

Carol watched Daryl finish his breakfast slowly. There was a time he'd been exactly like Glenn. Always itching to get outside the gates, even when they were back at the prison. But lately he always seemed to linger around her until the last second. "You okay?" Carol asked.

"Yeah…" his voice trailed off.

"Don't sound like it," she pushed.

"It's just…" he looked at her and she saw something she hadn't seen in a long time - his shy embarrassed side. "It's hard to leave you," Daryl said, pink coloring both cheeks instantly.

Carol slipped out of her chair and took a seat on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and planting a kiss on his cheek. "Well it's a good thing you'll be back soon, huh?" She looked at him with a flirty smile. "I'll be waiting up if you're late." She used to wait up for him every night - he'd do the same if he was home first. But lately they'd both been exhausted and sometimes they couldn't stay awake.

Daryl stood, sliding her off his knee, back onto her feet. "Better be," he said slapping her ass affectionately. He grabbed his crossbow and backpack by the door and they headed outside. It was a gorgeous day, warm and sunny already, though the sun hadn't been up long. Most residents were early risers and there were already several people wandering around, tending to their various tasks. Carol walked with Daryl to the gate as Glenn and Aaron drove up in the jeep they were taking on the run.

Right on the back bumper of the Jeep was a pickup truck. "Looks like my ride is here too," Carol said, trying to keep from laughing. Abe looked annoyed. She knew exactly how to sweet talk the hard-ass though, so Carol wasn't worried. Rosita had given her a few tips after Carol almost strangled the temperamental ginger one day. "Bye," she said, brushing his hand in a movement that would look accidental to anyone else, but would be understood as something more by Daryl.

"Bye," he replied, jumping into the back seat of the Jeep. Carl and Michonne opened the gate and the Jeep was gone.

Abe pulled forward and Carol got in. "Sorry. Slept in a bit this morning," she said with a huge smile. That was pretty much all it took to get to Abe.

Once he saw her smiling at him he defrosted. "It's fine," he mumbled, taking off out the gate. Carol looked out the window and bit the inside of her cheek. That was way too easy. They headed for the new section of the town that almost complete and ready to be joined to the current part. Both were completely walled in, so there would be a period of time that they would have to removed a section of both walls in order to join them. That time had almost arrived and they would be making the final decisions and plans for the safest and quickest way to get the job done.

It always looked good on paper, but Carol worried they would run into complications along the way, so she wanted everything to be perfect and well planned out before she would allow them to begin. The residents were excited about the expansion, but some of them had been safely behind walls almost since the start of the apocalypse and even a very short period without that extra security would be scary for them.

It was a long and busy day, like they had all been lately. By the time Carol returned the sun was setting. She hoped Daryl would be home, waiting for her, but she knew the run was scheduled to be a long one and it would have been surprising to find them back before dark. As suspected they weren't back yet, so Carol decided to go home and have a shower in the mean time. The sun had been hot and she'd been sweating most of the day.

The cold water felt great. She made a point of showering in cold water most of the time, conserving the hot that used up extra energy. She had just stepped out and was toweling off when she heard someone yelling her name from downstairs. "One second," she hollered back, getting dressed quickly. As much as she loved being Mayor, it was sometimes annoying and inconvenient that she couldn't even take a damn shower without getting interrupted.

"What's wrong now?" she sighed, on her way down the steps. It was Noah waiting at the bottom. He looked like he was going to puke and Carol's stomach turned. "Noah… what's going on?" There was only one thing that would have Noah that upset, Carol knew what it was about before the young man even spoke - Daryl. "What happened? Is he okay?"

Noah shook his head. "He's gone."

Carol felt her heart stop inside her chest. "G-g-gone?" she repeated. "He's dead?"

"No. No," he replied. "Well, we don't know. He's been captured. But Aaron… they killed him."

"Oh God," Carol couldn't breathe. Aaron had become a very close friend. He'd been Douglas' right hand man when he was Mayor and it became second nature for him to act the same way with Carol when she took over. "Glenn?" she was afraid to ask, but she had to know.

"He's here. Safe," Noah explained. "Come on, they're all waiting for you at Rick's." Carol felt her warrior mode kick in. Some assholes had killed Aaron and captured Daryl. There was no fucking way they were getting away with it. She jogged behind Noah and burst into Rick's house.

Carol walked straight to Glenn and hugged him. "I'm so sorry Carol…" he muttered into her neck. "I tried to go back, see if I could get him once I escaped… but they'd already moved locations. Must of had a temporary camp set up." He pulled back and looked at her, his eyes flashing with anger, "I think they were waiting for us. It's as if they knew we were coming." Carol swallowed the lump in her throat. "He was alive, the last I saw him. They killed Aaron instantly, but they tied Daryl up. If they were gonna kill him, they would have done it right away, like Aaron. He's gotta be alive," Glenn spoke with desperation. Daryl was important to more people than just her. The entire group would feel the loss - hard.

But there wasn't going to be a loss, Carol told herself with determination. "Let's figure out what we're gonna do," she said, looking around the room. Michonne. Rick. Abraham. Maggie. Rosita. Tara. Eugene. And Noah. Tyreese and Sasha were likely on watch at the main gate and Carl was probably trying to get his sister to sleep. Even though they had integrated completely with the original residents of the town, for some reason it was the main group that had met in Rick's living room. It was likely because this wasn't something new for them. It wasn't the first time they had dealt with a psychopath that had captured one of their own, killed one of their own.

"I know where they were set up," Glenn offered. "I could lead you right there. But I don't think it's gonna help because they're gone."

"Maybe I could track them from there?" Noah offered. "Daryl taught me. Said I'm better than he is now," he added proudly. After speaking his name though Noah looked sad. He was in mourning.

Carol nodded. "That might be a good place to start." She looked at Glenn, "They get the Jeep?"

"Yep. I had to return on foot," he explained. "They ambushed us first thing this morning, but it took me all day by the time I went back for Daryl and then walked here."

As much as she wanted to head out immediately, worried that the longer they had Daryl, the worse his chances got, Carol knew they needed to wait until morning. If Noah had any hopes of finding their trail he needed daylight to see it. "Everyone needs to get some rest tonight. I'll decide who is going with Noah and I in the morning and we'll leave at first light."

"Carol," Rick interrupted. "You should stay here. Let me take a group out. We don't know who these people are, but we know they're dangerous. This town needs you…"

"No way," she snapped. "Daryl needs me right now. It's not up for discussion." Rick conceded. He knew she would take him along because if she didn't he would just go anyway. Daryl was his best friend and like Carol, it wasn't up for discussion. "Go. Sleep. I need everyone at their best tomorrow. We're gonna find…" The door burst open and Tyreese flew in breathless from running.

"He's here," he gasped. "Daryl… he's here."

They all looked at him in shock. Carol felt a sense of relief like she'd never known in her life. "Where?" she asked.

Tyreese was still panting. "A vehicle pulled up and just threw him at the gate, drove off. Sniper blew out a tire, but they kept going somehow. I think someone might have chased after them," he took a breath. "But Sasha and Heath took Daryl right to Denise and I came straight here."

Carol gave Rick a look and he picked up his weapon, nodded at Abraham and the two of them took off to see if they could catch up with the kidnappers. "Is he…" Carol was afraid to ask.

"He didn't look good," Tyreese said gently, reaching an arm around Carol's shoulder, giving her a comforting squeeze. "But he's alive."

As much as she wanted to go to Daryl's side alone, there was someone else who needed to be there with her. Carol reached for Noah's hand. "Come on, let's go see him."


	2. Chapter 2

Denise met them at the door as Carol and Noah came flying in. "Easy," she said, seeing the panic on their faces. "He's okay. Looked a lot worse than it really was," Denise explained. Carol felt her eyes sting with tears of relief. "He was covered in blood, but… I don't think much of it was his. He's a little beat up, but he's gonna be just fine."

Carol pulled Noah into a quick hug, noticing the moisture in his eyes. "Come on, let's go see him," she said, taking his hand and following Denise towards Daryl. Carol felt her stomach tightening. She knew now that Daryl would be fine, but he was still going to look terrible and it would fill her with both sadness and rage. She was already angry about what had happened and hoping Rick and Abe had found the Motherfuckers and killed them all.

She took a deep breath before entering the room, trying to prepare herself, but she still gasped when she saw him. One of his eyes was swollen shut and there was a cut across his forehead that Denise had already stitched up. But it was the blood that terrified her. It had been a long time since they'd been out on the road. A few months ago it would have been nothing to see Daryl soaked in blood. She would have chalked it up to a messy fight with walkers and thought nothing more of it. But the way the blood was splattered… it was obvious it was human. And if it wasn't his… whose was it? Carol hoped to hell it wasn't Aaron's.

"Hey," Carol said softly, forcing herself to smile for his benefit, despite all the opposing emotions she was feeling inside. She released Noah's hand and leaned forward to place a kiss on Daryl's forehead, on the opposite side from the cut.

"Hey," Daryl replied. Instantly Carol knew it was bad. Daryl was pretending everything was fine for Noah's sake, it was glaringly obvious because the look in his eyes didn't match the look on his face. "I'm fine," he said directly to Noah. "I am," Daryl added when Noah didn't look convinced. "Go get some sleep kid," he urged Noah. Noah shifted, but didn't move. Daryl sat up and reached out, touching Noah on the shoulder. "It's okay," he said softly. Daryl was a man of few words and Noah understood that. So with those two words he was comforted. Finally Noah nodded and said goodnight.

"He's okay to go home, get cleaned up. I've checked him over and other than the cut on the head, I'm pretty confident he's okay," Denise explain. "If he starts getting a headache, blurry vision or vomiting bring him back right away."

"Told ya I was fine," Daryl grumbled.

"Yeah when you woke up," Denise shot back, rolling her eyes at him. Carol admired the woman's spunk and felt a genuine smile on her lips watching them banter.

"Must have been the way I landed when the fuckers kicked me out of the car," he said, glaring at her.

"Yeah, that was it. The cut on your forehead and the bruises you're gonna find on your face in the morning had nothing to do with it," she drawled sarcastically.

"Let's go," Daryl said standing. Carol noticed he was limping a bit as they started to walk out, but he didn't appear dizzy, which was a good sign. She mouthed a thank you back over her shoulder for Denise and waved as they left.

Carol started to veer towards Rick's place but Daryl stopped her. "Don't want to see anyone right now."

"Oh, okay... How about you go clean up, I just want to let the others know you're fine and see if Rick and Abe caught them," Carol explained. Without a word Daryl headed off home. Carol felt a sense of uneasiness but Daryl had been through a lot so she pushed it away.

Rick shook his head the second she entered and headed over to talk quietly. "Found the car, but they left it and fled. No sign of them," he explained. "Daryl?"

"Physically, he's okay. Looks like he took a beating, but he'll be fine," Carol started. "Emotionally though... I'm scared Rick," she admitted. "He came back covered in blood. It wasn't his."

"Walkers?" Rick asked.

"I really don't think so, it looked human. Like someone was killed very close to him and the blood splattered or spurted on to him." Carol was picturing the sprays across his shirt and the way his pants were covered. She shivered. "I don't think he's gonna talk about it," Carol sighed. "I can't blame him, I didn't want to talk about stuff either at first," she thought back to when she was first reunited with Daryl and the group, in a very dark state after everything that happened at the grove. "But they're still out there and anything he remembers could help."

"Give him a few days," Rick suggested. "If he won't open up to you I can give it a try." He wasn't by any means suggesting Daryl was more likely to talk to him, just offering an alternative to Plan A, Carol understood that. She nodded. "Go see him, get some rest. We can meet in the morning and discuss what we're gonna do." Rick gave her a quick comforting hug. They had finally come to a place of mutual respect after Carol saved them all at Terminus. Rick was probably her closest friend next to Daryl. She hugged him back, said goodbye and left him to fill in the others.

When she got home she found Daryl in their room looking out the window at the full moon. He was already showered and had changed into clean clothes. Carol found it odd that he had dressed again. Most of the time they just slept in minimal clothing or even naked. She decided not to question it, figuring he'd been through enough. Carol walked over and he looked up at her. "How bad does it hurt?" she asked, wincing at the look of his eye. It looked even worse than before.

"It's fine. I'll live," he shrugged. "Are you okay? Sorry I worried you." Was he fucking serious? Carol wondered. Yeah, he was. Daryl always put her first.

"I'm just glad you're back. Safe," she said, kissing the top of his head. "You tired? Wanna sleep?" It had been one hell of a day, he had to be exhausted.

"Yeah, I'm tired," he admitted. Carol walked beside him while he limped to bed. "I'm okay, just hurt my leg a bit. Be fine by tomorrow." Even so she helped him into bed, feeling the need to care for him. When she climbed in beside him Daryl instantly slid over and pulled her against him. She wasn't expecting it, but maybe she should have been. Whatever he'd been through had clearly been awful, traumatizing even. He put his head on her chest, clung tightly to her and drifted off.

When Carol woke the next morning Daryl was gone. She looked at her alarm clock and sat up instantly. It was over an hour past her alarm time. Why hadn't it gone off? She looked at the clock and saw the alarm was turned off. "What the hell," she muttered. Carol got dressed quickly and ran out of the house, forgoing breakfast.

She saw a group had gathered in the square, not far from the main gate, which included Daryl, Rick, Michonne, Glenn and Sasha. She quickly approached. "Sorry I'm late," she said, giving Daryl a look that he ignored. "What's going on? I have to head out with Abe soon, he's probably pissed off..."

"Abe's already gone," Rick interrupted.

"What? Why? He knows to wait for me," Carol protested, feeling anger starting to boil inside her. "We have big decisions to make out there, especially now." She looked around. They all seemed nervous about something. "What the hell is going on?" she hissed, feeling irritated. No one spoke. "What? Someone tell me."

"Uh, well..." Glenn started. "Daryl doesn't think it's a good idea for you to be outside the walls right now... And the rest of us agreed." He spoke quickly and then avoided eye contact.

"No... No..." Carol started. She glared at Daryl first, then each of them in turn. "I don't need anyone's permission to leave," she said, seething in anger. How could he do this to her? Carol wondered, feeling betrayed.

"Hey, calm down and hear us out," Rick said, touching her arm. She shook him off angrily, but didn't speak. "Carol, come on, you're our leader. This town, these people... They need you. We," he gestured to the small group. "We need you. And if you go out there and something happens... This place will fall apart if we lose you." 

Carol did her best to let his words sink in. She was still angry. But Rick did have a point. The town was just getting back to normal after a huge shake up, including the suicide of the previous mayor. They trusted her and believed in her decisions. Unfortunately they were right... She needed to stay where it was safe. But it certainly didn't excuse the way Daryl went behind her back and he was going to hear about it.

"Fine," she agreed. "But there are others out there. Abraham, Holly... The entire crew. Maybe we should put a halt on the expansion for now?"

"It might be worth considering," Rick agreed. "Let's leave them out there today and talk to Abe when he's back. We're so close to being finished, but it's better to be safe."

"I don't think they're coming back," Daryl interrupted. Everyone looked at him. "They saw the sniper. They know we'll be on high alert. They ain't gonna risk it right now."

"He's got a point," Sasha said. "Maybe it's best to just push on through with the expansion."

"But then we have even more area to defend," Michonne spoke up.

"Yeah, but we have 3 lookouts built in the new part," Daryl replied. "We can add a second sniper in this area and get 3 people up on the new side. We'll have all directions covered."

Carol listened to the debate. Eventually they all looked to her for input. "Makes sense to push through. But let's get Abe's opinion tonight and make a final decision then."

The group dispersed but Daryl lingered. He looked ready to take his licks and it softened her - just a bit. "What the fuck was that?" She hissed. "You shut off my alarm so I would sleep in and you could get to them first?"

"I'm sorry," he said simply, taking credit for the alarm.

"You're sorry. You're sorry. Are you really Daryl?" She shot back, trying to keep her voice from rising.

"I'm sorry you're mad," he replied. "But I would do it again."

Carol glared at him. "Why?"

"To keep you safe," he said, meeting her icy stare. "If it means you're mad at me, I don't give a fuck, as long as you're not in danger."

She softened a little more and sighed. "You could have come to me first."

"What would you have said?" He shot back. Her eyes betrayed her. Of course she would have fought him on it. "I needed them on my side... To convince you."

Carol huffed. "Well I still don't understand it. You said yourself they're not likely to come back. So what does it matter?"

Daryl's eyes shifted away from her, just slightly. And his reply was delayed, just the tiniest bit. "Yeah, well there's still a small chance they're stupid and you are far less expendable than the rest."

"No one here is expendable," Carol said, giving him a look.

"You know what I mean," he grumbled.

"Fine," Carol physically shook her body to push it all away. "I don't want to fight anymore."

"Good, but I wasn't fighting," Daryl replied.

She sucked in a deep breath. Why were men so infuriating sometimes? At least he was charming more often. "Whatever," she muttered. "I'll see you later," Carol added, needing a bit of distance before she strangled him. She started to walk away but noticed he was following. "What are you doing?" she asked, turning to look at him.

Daryl caught up and stopped beside her. "What does it look like? I'm going with you."

"I'm going to the bathroom," Carol said, starting to walk again.

"I'll wait in the hall," he replied, matching her step for step. Carol shot him a sideways glance and sighed. He was in stubborn mode and if anyone could do stubborn better than her it was Daryl. Carol knew arguing with him was no use. He needed to protect her for some reason. After everything he went through the day before, whatever it was, she could understand his need to be close. But he was going to suffocate her if he insisted on following her all day. And how many days would it last? Carol sucked in a breath. He's been through a lot, she told herself. Just go with it for a couple days and see what happens. But she had an uneasy feeling. Something happened to him out there that he was hiding. She hoped it wouldn't be too long before he finally told her the truth.


	3. Chapter 3

Carol quickly noticed Daryl's pattern. If she was alone he was stuck to her like glue, in that suffocating way that she was only allowing because of what he'd gone through. But if she was with someone else he would disappear for a while. She had no idea where he was going, or what he was doing, but she assumed he was taking care of things that needed to be done and she trusted him completely.

Daryl was clearly not himself though. She could see it in his interactions with the others. His fondness for Noah was not nearly as evident. It was there still, she could feel it, but it was like he was trying to... hide it, which didn't make any sense. Perhaps Daryl was distancing himself, Carol thought… but it just didn't sit well with her. He barely spoke to Rick, Maggie… anyone really. He just didn't seem to make small talk or involve himself in conversations. Every time Carol looked at him he seemed distracted. It was almost as if he was searching for something… someone... or as if he felt like he was being watched. It gave Carol chills every time she noticed it.

Beyond all the strange behaviour Daryl looked tired. He'd been up early of course, but maybe he hadn't slept well during the night? Maybe he was having bad dreams or bad thoughts about what had happened. She certainly had her fair share of sleepless nights with some of the things she'd been through. Carol shook it off and reminded herself that he'd been through a terrible ordeal, he'd been abused, and it made perfect sense that he looked exhausted.

That afternoon they had a memorial service for Aaron. It was one of the saddest funerals she could remember. People looked defeated. Aaron was the one they all thought was invincible. He went on runs all the time and he always came back. He followed people silently for days, weeks, without detection, and he always came home safe - sometimes with new citizens in his wake like he'd done not all that long ago with their group. Aaron was the reason they were living a much more comfortable life, behind the safety of walls, with supplies and a sense of normalcy. And now, he was gone. It was a huge blow, not only to her and those closest to Aaron, but to the entire town. After the service Carol requested that everyone take the rest of the day off, with the exception of those on guard and security duties, and spend time with the ones they loved - remembering Aaron and what he meant to their community.

Carol spent some time with Jessie and Eugene. Jessie was taking it pretty hard. She'd known Aaron for a long time. She was one of the original members of the community when Douglas first started pulling them all together. Daryl disappeared while Carol was at Jessie's house, but returned less than an hour later. Carol actually considered attempting to give him the slip the next time he left her alone, but she didn't want to upset him, and really, what did it hurt to have him by her side if that's where he needed to be? The way he hovered when she went to the bathroom was irritating, but at least he didn't follow her in every time, Carol thought with a tiny smile.

She waited until they were alone at bedtime to bring anything up. Even then Carol was hesitant because she really wanted him to open up on his own, when he was ready. But his behaviour was so off and strange that she wanted to get to the bottom of it. "Daryl," she said cautiously when he didn't appear to be getting undressed. "Do you want to talk about it? It might help you feel a little better."

"No," he said quickly. "Won't help."

She didn't want to push too hard but Carol wasn't quite ready to let it go. "I felt the same way at first too. But it made me feel closer to you once I finally told you everything."

Daryl shook his head. "I can't," he said, looking at her with sad eyes that were begging for understanding. "I just can't…"

"Okay," Carol said softly. She got up from where she was sitting on the edge of the bed and walked over to him. "What can I do? I want to help." Daryl met her eye, staring at her. His look was so intense and… lusty. Even before his lips came crashing down on top of hers Carol knew what he wanted. His kiss was desperate and demanding. He wanted her full attention. He wanted her to feel how much he needed her and Carol most definitely did. She knew exactly what he was feeling. Daryl wanted to get lost in her and just forget everything for a little while. Allowing yourself to get completely wrapped up in another person who loved you unconditionally was a really good way to ignore the hurt and pain.

In all honesty Carol needed him every bit as much by that point. She hadn't been through what he had, but she had been terrified that she'd lost him for a brief period and she was dealing with the stress and pain of seeing him struggling. Somehow she was able to slow things down and Carol undressed him slowly, taking care to run her hands all over his body, feeling all his familiar curves and edges. She kissed his neck and shoulders, grazed his chest with her fingertips and eventually led him to bed.

Carol could feel the tension and the fight from both of them to keep it from turning into just pure, raw, desperate sex. There was a physical craving every time they were together that was hard to ignore. But this was about taking the time to really be with one another, not just physically, but emotionally as well. Carol climbed on top of him, taking Daryl inside her with a sigh of both relief and pleasure. Instead of moving she pulled him up into a sitting position and wrapped him tightly in her arms. Carol kissed him, drawing back to nip at his lower lip before searching for his tongue with hers. They stayed that way for a long time, united and completely absorbed in one another.

Carol stroked his hair lovingly, traced his jaw with the tips of her fingers and placed very gentle kisses on every bruise she could find on his face as if her lips could magically heal them all. The whole time he rubbed his strong hands up and down her back, soothing her muscles. Daryl's hands eventually settled on her hips. He made a movement, just the slightest push, to remind her he was inside. Carol kissed him one more time then met his eye and nodded.

Daryl held her tightly to his body and somehow managed to flip her over onto her back while staying joined. With the same restraint she'd expressed from the start he began to move, pulling out and pushing back in slowly while he studied her face. It felt incredible and Carol wanted to close her eyes and focus on how it felt, but there was something about the intimacy they were sharing that she just couldn't break. Even when she came Carol fought the urge to close her eyes, instead she let him watch and be a part of every second with her. Daryl did the same and Carol felt her eyes fill up with tears. It was truly the closest they'd ever been. She couldn't imagine her life without him in it. Daryl was that missing piece that made her feel whole.

But her missing piece was broken and Carol vowed she would find a way to patch him up. Eventually Daryl would tell her what happened and when he did she would help him heal. Until then Carol knew she just had to find a way to be patient with the changes she was seeing in him. It wasn't going to be easy, but the important thing was that his love for her had not changed one bit. If anything it was even stronger than it was before. Carol would put her faith in that.

She tried to ignore the fact that he redressed before getting in bed to sleep. Eventually she would ask him about it, but it wasn't the right time. Patience, she repeated in her head. She found Daryl's hand in the dark and held it while she drifted off to dreamland.

When Carol woke to the alarm the next morning she found her bed empty again. What the hell is he up to now? She wondered, trying not to freak out before she knew where he'd gone. He can't be far, she realized, with the way he'd refused to leave her side the day before - other than his early morning meeting. Carol felt a little better.

When she walked down the stairs and found him waiting in the kitchen with breakfast the uneasiness lifted completely. And the fact there was a huge stack of pancakes and syrup on the table was an added bonus. Carol heard her stomach rumbling at the sight.

She had just taken her first bite of breakfast when there was a knock and Michonne wandered in. "Just the two of you?" she asked, pausing in the entrance way to the kitchen.

"Yeah, you hungry?" Carol replied, offering her a seat and a plate.

"Starving," Michonne replied, gladly accepting.

"What are you doing here?" Daryl grumbled. Carol shot him a look. He seemed annoyed that Michonne had stopped by. Yet again, more behaviour that just didn't make any sense. Daryl and Michonne were close friends. They spent a lot of time together searching for the Governor after Andrea's death.

"Actually, I came to bug you about coming back in two days in a row empty handed," Michonne said, smiling at him.

Daryl looked like he was just slapped in the face and Carol felt like someone had just punched her in the gut. "Wh… what is she talking about?" Carol stammered, looking at Daryl who was avoiding her eyes. His face was bright red with anger but he didn't speak.

Michonne looked terribly confused. "What's going on? You told me…" Clearly things started to make sense for Michonne. "You lied to me?" she hissed.

"Fuck," Daryl seethed, clenching his fists. "Fuck," he said again, standing up and heading for the door.

"Daryl. Daryl," Carol called after him. "What the hell is going on?" Her stomach was in a complete knot.

"Carol, I'm sorry," Michonne said, looking horrified. "I thought you knew. He told me you okayed it, but to keep it quiet so others wouldn't know you had let him leave on his own. I trusted it was the truth…" Michonne took a deep breath. "The night sniper is the only other one who knows that Daryl's been leaving. He stopped at the tower the first day and told him something…"

So Daryl had been getting up in the middle of the night and going hunting alone. That explained why he hadn't been in bed when she woke the last two mornings. And why he looked so damn tired. "It's not your fault," Carol said soothingly, placing a calming hand on Michonne's shoulder.

"I can't believe he lied to me…" Michonne looked devastated.

Carol took a long breath in and let it out slowly. "He's hiding something," she announced, standing up. "And I am going to find out what it is if I have to lock him in a room until he talks." Carol left her breakfast and Michonne and marched out the front door. She would find Daryl and make him talk. Whatever was going on with him was serious and dangerous. Carol knew Daryl wouldn't lie to her unless he absolutely had to. So what was so important that he would betray both her and Michonne?


	4. Chapter 4

Carol had no idea where he went. It had to be somewhere he could be alone… There weren't a whole lot of options. She finally found Daryl 20 minutes later hiding out in the building where they stored all the weapons and ammo. He was repairing bolts and trying to fix a crossbow that they hadn't been able to use. She walked in, shut the door and locked it behind her.

"Daryl," she sighed. "What the hell is going on? Talk to me."

"What do you want to know?" He snapped. Daryl looked up and continued before she could answer. "You want me to talk about watching Aaron get shot in the head, a lot like Beth did, and die on the ground in front of me before I even knew what the fuck was happening?" Carol felt her chest tighten. Daryl would never fully forgive himself for Beth dying. He felt responsible as the adult, and blamed himself for losing her. Much like he'd blamed Carol for Sophia's disappearance when he lashed out at her that night so long ago on the farm. The fact Aaron's death reminded him of Beth had to make it even harder. "You want to hear about me watching Glenn escape and how happy I was for him... But how it felt to know I ain't never gonna see him again? Or the others. Or you..." His voice softened, but only for a second.

"Or do you want to know how they beat the shit out of me trying to make me answer questions that I wasn't never gonna tell them?" Daryl met her eye and the look terrified her. "Or do you want to know how he grabbed his wife... His fucking wife... And slit her throat inches from my face... For no other reason than to prove how goddamn ruthless and psychotic he is."

"Oh God..." Carol whispered, taking a few steps closer. She wanted to hold him so badly, but he was too emotional and angry, it would have to wait. "Daryl, I'm so sorry."

"Don't," he muttered. "Don't look at me like that. I don't need or want your pity. We've all been through unspeakable shit." Carol immediately thought of Lizzie, Mika and Sophia. "I just need you to understand and let me deal with it my own way."

"I want to... But it's not safe out there," she started. Couldn't he understand that? Didn't he get how it terrified her every time he walked out the gates and that was before they knew there was a psychopath.

"I need to go. You need to let me," Daryl insisted. His voice was filled with a desperation she couldn't grasp or understand. "It's the only time I can clear my mind and just let it all go for a few hours." He somehow managed a smile, "You're a great distraction, but when it's over I think about how close I came to never seeing you again."

This was her best chance to get him to understand her point of view. "And every time you walk out those gates I wonder if you'll come back." She took a few steps closer. "Please don't make me keep you here by force," Carol said, giving him a look to indicate she was quite serious.

Daryl jumped to his feet, reacting to her words in anger. "You can't cage me like an animal," he growled.

"I can't lose you," Carol replied passionately. It was her breaking point. He was angry, he was hurting. But so was she. Tears of frustration spilled over. "I'll do anything to keep you safe." Daryl mumbled something she didn't understand. But finally - finally he came to her and pulled her into his arms.

"Please trust me," he whispered into her ear, hugging her tight to his body. "They had the chance to kill me, but they didn't. They brought me back. It's safe for me out there." Carol realized that he had a point. They didn't kill him. They could have. But wondering why just made it worse.

"Why didn't they kill you?" Carol asked, drawing back. "And why did they bring you back?"

Daryl shrugged and shuffled his feet, it was clearly something he'd thought about and was painful for him. "Maybe I'm a warning. Maybe he thought it would be easier on me to die than to have to live with what I saw…Maybe he's punishing me in a different way... "

Carol touched his cheek. "I won't pity you, like you asked. But I need you to know I'm hurting with you. You're right, I know unspeakable pain too. And we're in this together. Forever." Daryl nodded and took her other hand in his for a quick squeeze. "I really don't like the idea of you going out there at all, but you going alone makes it even worse."

"You gotta trust me," Daryl sighed. "I can't take anyone with me. They let me go. They might attack anyone I take out there." He kissed the top of her head. "I promise I won't go far. And I won't stay out as long as I've been staying out. Just give me a couple more weeks to try and clear my head, please?"

Carol felt uneasy about the situation, but she knew that keeping Daryl caged up behind the walls would only make things worse for him. He was already in so much pain, she couldn't add to it. But there was still something off. There was a reason they let Daryl go and she had to figure it out somehow… Before it was too late.

She took a long deep breath and finally nodded. "Okay, I'll agree but I have a couple conditions. First, you will wake me when you leave so I know what time you've left. If you're any longer than 2 hours I'm sending a team to search for you." Daryl tipped his head in agreement. "And secondly, Rick has to agree too."

"What? No," Daryl shook his head. "The less people know the better. You know, Michonne knows… and the sniper. That's enough."

Carol crossed her arms and stood firm, "We tell Rick or it's no deal." Daryl looked angry. "It's one more person," Carol tried to rationalize it. "And he's your best friend. Besides, for all we know Michonne could tell him anyway. She could tell a lot of people..."

"Fuck. You're right. I gotta go find her," Daryl looked slightly panicked. He really seemed to be over reacting to everything but Carol chalked it up to the ordeal he'd been through.

"And apologize?" Carol blinked at him.

"Shit." He took the subtle hint. "I'm sorry I lied to you. Or, well, didn't tell you what I was doing I guess." Daryl looked awkward and shy. There hadn't been much need for apologizing in their relationship. It was new and difficult.

Carol did her best to make it easy. "I know you feel bad. And I know you felt like you had to hide it from me. But from now on we gotta be open and honest okay?"

"Yup," he replied, still looking embarrassed.

"Okay then. I'm going to talk to Rick and you go find Michonne, if she's still awake," Carol instructed. "But before you go..." She couldn't let him leave without a kiss. It was long and tender with the promise of more later on. She didn't want to let him go, but they both had places they needed to be. Daryl lingered for a second before leaving. It was his way of letting her know he loved her. There were times he had no problem saying the words, but sometimes it was a little gesture instead, which meant every bit as much to her.

"I love you too," she whispered as the door closed behind him.

It hadn't been a complete lie. In fact, everything he said to her about what happened was the truth. He had seen Aaron shot in the head. He had watched Glenn escape. And the fucking bastard in charge had introduced him to his wife and then slit her throat right in front of him. Daryl could still feel the warmth of the blood hitting him as it spurted from the wound. He'd seen a lot of shit but it was the first time he'd been that close to throwing up. It wasn't the blood. It wasn't the gore… It was the principle of what happened. It wasn't a random stranger. It was a woman that man was supposed to love.

If he could kill her in cold blood without a second thought what else was he capable of? This man was clearly a narcissist of the highest form. He wasn't someone to take lightly. And Daryl would not be fucking around with this guy. But he was going to kill him one day. Somehow. He would get revenge for Aaron's murder. For the abuse. For the threats and everything the fucking asshole was putting him through. And for killing a woman Daryl didn't even know. She didn't deserve to die.

The hardest part was lying to Carol. He had no choice. He had to protect her. She was his world. Carol was smart. She was intuitive and intelligent. She was a very good judge of character and Daryl was certain that if it was anyone but him she would know for sure she was being lied to. But Carol trusted him and that's what made it so much harder. The guilt was almost unbearable. It was her trust in him that blinded her and he was using that to his advantage. He could only hope that in the end… she would simply understand. And if she never did understand at least she would still be alive. At the end of the day that was his number one priority.

Daryl drew in a breath and tried to push it all away. He was very uneasy about Carol telling Rick. Rick knew him as well as Carol did, but he was a cop by nature and he would be suspicious. It wouldn't be as easy to use their mutual trust as it was with Carol. He'd figure it out though. Somehow. He had to.

Now to find Michonne and hope to hell she'd kept her mouth shut. She was not going to be happy and he was gonna have to grovel. But he would do whatever was necessary to fix their relationship. But how the fuck was he supposed to work to regain her trust when all he was doing was lying to her again?

Daryl refocused. He couldn't lose his focus. He had a clear goal in mind and he would reach it. The man would die and Daryl would be the one to kill him.


	5. Chapter 5

"Carol, we gotta talk," Rick said, coming up from behind her. Daryl had just left her for a minute to deliver a message. "I didn't think he'd ever leave," Rick added, turning to face her. It had been a week since she'd discovered Daryl's secret. A lot had happened in that time, but in the grand scheme of things nothing had changed. Daryl was still slipping out every morning. The only other ones who knew were Michonne, Rick and the night sniper. He was still glued to her side the remainder of the day, rarely leaving her as Rick had experienced.

They had sat down with Rick and Michonne and discussed the fact that Carol was allowing him to leave to hunt provided he wasn't gone long. Rick understood Daryl and he easily agreed to the idea. It seemed as though Daryl had repaired his relationship with Michonne as well. Carol had no doubt they would work things out, but Michonne was really hurt by the way Daryl had used her and lied to her. And she was a very stubborn woman. But Carol noticed within a few days they were back to their normal selves and she was pleased.

They had decided to halt the expansion for 2 full weeks just to be safe. Carol wanted to extend it to a month, but she had enough trouble getting Abe to agree to two weeks so she gave in. He was pacing around the place like a caged lion, scowling and grumpy. As far as Carol was concerned the 2 weeks couldn't end fast enough. If he got any crustier she was gonna have to take him down a notch and it certainly wasn't going to be pretty.

"What's wrong?" Carol asked when she saw the look on Rick's face. It was something serious and judging by the look in his eyes it wasn't good.

"We are running low on ammo," Rick stated.

"Oh... Okay… so you want to get a team together to head out on a run?" She was confused by the statement. "I thought Eugene was working on reloading shells too?"

"That's not the issue. It was there before and now it's gone," Rick said in a hushed whisper. "We had tons of shells, slugs, bullets, arrows, bolts…" Rick looked around. "But now… it's just gone. And we haven't been using it."

Carol felt her stomach turn over. They had ammo missing? How could that be possible? Who would take it? And why? There were several people who had access to the armories and anyone could sign out weapons when they needed them. But as for those who could actually get in unseen and take ammo… the list was a lot shorter. The town's residents were all trusted though, so there was always the chance that someone had figured out a way to pick the lock or had stolen a key… The whole idea left an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Suddenly it hit her why Rick had waited for Daryl to leave before approaching her. "No…" she looked at him in disbelief. "You don't think it's him? He wouldn't. He already lied to us once and he swore he told us the truth… No…" Carol's hands were shaking at the thought of being deceived and lied to again by the man she loved.

"Who else?" Rick asked. "It makes me sick to even consider him… but we have no idea where he goes every day Carol. He rarely brings back any game and you know he's an amazing hunter. Something is off with him and it's more than just what he went through." Rick was presenting his case and even though she hated herself for believing it so easily he really was making sense. "And now there's ammo missing…"

Carol took a deep breath to calm herself. "So what do we do?" she asked as Michonne approached. "Uh, yeah… what can we do about Abe? He's driving me crazy," she changed the conversation quickly.

"It's okay," Rick nodded. "She knows. She was the one who first noticed the supplies seemed lower and I went to have a look and realized just how bad it is."

"Let me follow him," Michonne said. "Tomorrow morning when he slips out I'll go after him and see where he goes, what he's really doing out there."

"I don't know…" Carol felt really uncomfortable about letting anyone else head out, not knowing for sure it's safe.

"I spent months out there on my own when this thing started," Michonne pressed. "I spent months out there with him, looking for the governor. I know his patterns. I know his style. And I'm quick and quiet. He will have no idea I'm even there and I'll make sure I'm back before him. Then we'll know once and for all if he's being honest."

"Why can't we just confront him?" Carol asked. "I don't like this sneaking around…" Someone is going to end up hurt, Carol wanted to add. But she didn't have to, they knew what she was thinking.

"We have to know," Rick said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "I don't like it either. But if we confront him and he really is up to something he will probably just lie. And we won't know anything more than we do now."

Carol reluctantly nodded in agreement. "I want to be the first to know what's going on when you're back," she demanded. She was completely pulling rank, but in this case she couldn't help it.

"Of course," Michonne replied, she clearly understood. "He's coming," she added quickly.

"Hey," Carol said when Daryl returned. "We're just trying to figure out a task to keep Abraham busy for the next week before I have to kill him," Carol said with a laugh, hoping Daryl wouldn't be suspicious of why they three of them were chatting when he arrived.

"Ain't there some building repairs or somethin' he can do?" Daryl asked.

"That is a great idea," Rick agreed. "There are lots of deck repairs that could be done on some of the older homes. And there are the two houses that needed renos too. Maybe this is a good time?"

"That's brilliant," Carol said. "I'll go talk to him," she started towards Abe's house with Daryl hot on her heels. It actually went well and Abe seemed happy with the distraction she offered him. For something she hadn't even planned on doing at least one thing good came out of the conversation.

It was a lot more difficult to act normal around Daryl, knowing she was deceiving him, than she expected. If he was indeed hiding something Carol wondered how he was managing to keep it from her. Although she had been chalking a good deal of his behaviour up to the ordeal he'd been through, so perhaps she was dismissing hints and he wasn't actually that good at hiding it.

She managed to get through the day by keeping busy and when they went to bed that night she initiated sex. It was likely they would have done it anyway, but she felt like a dirty, awful person, knowing a big part of why she was doing it was because she felt so damn guilty. Daryl didn't seem to notice though and Carol wasn't sure if that made her feel better or worse.

She was pretty sure she'd just barely got to sleep when Daryl woke her to say goodbye. Carol looked at the clock so she would know when his two hours were up and then waited until she was sure he was gone before getting up to get dressed. Rick would be watching the gate from afar and as soon as Michonne let Daryl out he would take over at the gate while she snuck out after him. Carol decided she would wait at the gate with Rick for Michonne's return.

Carol made two cups of coffee and headed out to join Rick. She handed him a cup and he took it. "Thank you," he said appreciatively. "Didn't sleep much last night."

"Me neither," Carol admitted. "I just need this to be over. My conscience can't handle this kind of deception. Not with Daryl anyway."

"It will be… soon," Rick said, giving her a comforting half hug.

"Distract me," Carol sighed. "Tell me about Carl… Judith… anything. Are they still adjusting well? I haven't babysat in so long, it's way overdue."

Rick laughed and started to talk about his kids. It was so bittersweet to see the way he lit up when he spoke about them. She knew the pride of being a parent. As Rick's friend it was beautiful to see it in him, but as a mother who had lost a biological child and two girls that would have been her adopted children… it wasn't easy to see. She envied the look, even after so much time had passed.

The distraction worked though and the next time she checked her watch over 90 minutes had passed. Michonne should be returning any minute and likely Daryl wouldn't be far behind her. A rustling caught their attention and Daryl appeared from out of the woods. They could see him off in the distance, headed towards the gates. "No…" Carol whispered, looking at Rick.

"Don't panic," Rick said softly. "I'm sure she's fine. She'll be back," he said confidently.

"Where's 'chonne?" Daryl asked as he wandered through the gate with a rabbit on one hand. Carol and Rick exchanged a look. "What's going on?" Daryl asked, his tone changing dramatically. "Where is she?"

Carol couldn't lie to him anymore. "She's out there… She followed you this morning."

"What the fuck?" Daryl hissed. "You're joking right? This is a joke? Where is she, really?" He was pacing and Carol was pretty sure she was going to vomit. Something bad was going on. Something very, very bad. "Where is she?" he said, up in Rick's face.

"Woah," Rick said, stepping back. "Carol was telling the truth… she followed you."

"How could you?" Daryl snapped, his face going red with anger. "How could you?" he turned to Carol.

"There's ammo missing Daryl…" Carol said gently.

"You let her go out there? How could you?" Daryl seethed, ignoring everything Carol and Rick said. "I told you it's dangerous out there. I told you." He was pacing even harder.

He went to lay into her again but Carol was done. She was so fucking done. When he got in her face she fought back. "Enough," she snapped. "Something is going on with you and you're gonna tell us exactly what it is." Daryl's face was still red but she saw him flinch with her tone. "There's ammo missing. You leave here every day. Michonne followed you. And she didn't come back. What the fuck is going on Daryl? What the fuck?"

His reaction was not what she expected at all. Daryl collapsed to the ground, hugged his knees and started to cry as he rocked back and forth. With a quick look at Rick she flew to Daryl and wrapped him in her arms. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." he repeated over and over again.

"Shhh," Carol soothed him. "Shhh." She looked up at Rick who was standing there frozen in shock. It was bad. Whatever was going on was definitely bad. But they would find out soon. Carol only hoped it was soon enough to save Michonne.


	6. Chapter 6

"Fuck," Daryl hissed. He had finally calmed down and was standing on his feet again. "I don't know where to go… Where it's safe to talk…"

Carol and Rick exchanged a look again. "What do you mean?" she asked, keeping her voice low like Daryl was.

He looked around and stepped closer to them, talking even more quietly. "There's a mole living here. I haven't been able to figure out who it is yet. Been tryin' but I haven't been alone much to dig around…" Daryl eyed Carol.

"Don't look at me," she muttered. She still hadn't found out why he refused to leave her side, but she had a feeling she would know soon. "Why don't we go to one of the storage buildings or something, " Carol suggested.

Daryl shook his head. "For all I know, all the buildings could be bugged… They knew stuff… about all of us. Too much stuff…"

The uneasiness in Carol's stomach suddenly got a lot worse. Someone out there knew things about them. Someone crazy, psychotic and ruthless. "What if we just stand here? From a distance it would look like we're just having an early morning chat…"

"Might work," Daryl replied, glancing around again. He nodded. "Okay."

Carol and Rick waited, but Daryl didn't speak. "You gonna start talkin' or what?" Rick said gently.

"Tryin' to figure out where to start," Daryl grumbled, shooting Rick a glare. He took a deep breath and began. "Ya wanted to know why they let me go, right?" he looked at Carol specifically. "They let me go so they could use me. I'm nothing more than their fuckin puppet. And there's nothing I can do to stop it." Carol swallowed at the lump in her throat. Whatever they were making Daryl do was eating away at him, but whatever the consequences… were far worse. "I go out there every day and drop off ammo for them."

"Oh God," Carol muttered. Even though they had suspected Daryl was responsible for the missing ammo it was a different ball game to hear him say it. "Daryl…" she whispered. "Why?"

"If I don't take ammo to them, every day, the mole will kill someone each day I don't show up... " He met her eyes and the terror she saw was something she never would have imagined Daryl was capable of. "Starting with you."

Her. It was about protecting her. Everything he'd been going through started with looking out for her. And it was suddenly very clear why he refused to leave her side. "Daryl… why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"They said if I tell anyone they'll have the mole kill you while forcing me to watch… and their group will attack and kill everyone else," Daryl said. He looked so worn and exhausted all of a sudden. "Besides, if I did tell you right away, what would you've done?" Carol heard Rick sigh and felt the same way. Truth was, she had no idea what she would have done then, or what they were gonna do going forward.

"What happens when you've given them all our ammo?" Rick asked. He looked a bit pissed off and though Carol understood what he was feeling she hoped he would cut Daryl some slack given the stress and trauma he'd been through. "What was gonna happen when you ran out and had nothing to take them anymore? What did you think was gonna happen then?" Rick pressured him.

"Fuck, I don't know," Daryl hissed. "I didn't think that far ahead…"

"You didn't think," Rick stated sharply.

"Stop," Carol interjected. "This isn't getting us anywhere. We're on the same side here."

Rick took a long deep breath and rubbed his face. "Sorry," he breathed. "It's just… she's out there… with those psychos… and I'm worried…"

"Hey, me too," Daryl replied. Carol watched as the men exchanged a look of understanding and forgiveness. But Daryl couldn't resist, "If you'd just trusted me…"

"Stop," Carol said again. "What's done is done. Now we fix it." But how? she wondered in her head. "Let's think this through…"

"We gotta figure out who the mole is," Rick said quickly. "If we do, maybe we can manipulate him somehow." Daryl was nodding in agreement. "Do you know anything at all about this person? How are they communicating with him?"

"Walkie Talkie," Daryl said quickly.

A smile appeared on Rick's face. "Well that means all we need is a police scanner and we can intercept the signal. Hear every word they're saying."

"Do we have one?" Carol asked, feeling hopeful for the first time all morning.

"I know I saw a couple in one of the storage buildings," Rick muttered. "But something tells me they weren't working…" He chewed his lip in thought. "Any electronics stores would have one… but everything is so picked over out there," he mumbled his thoughts out loud.

"What about Eugene?" Carol asked. "Maybe he could take the broken scanners and make one working unit?"

"Worth a shot," Rick shrugged. "But… do we trust him completely?"

"The dude can't even take down a walker, there's no way he's being trusted to kill any of us," Daryl replied confidently.

Carol agreed, "Yeah, he was a mess after Pete… No way he was faking that." Eugene had saved Jessie from her abusive husband, but it took him a long time to recover from what happened that night. Luckily Jessie and Tara had helped him heal, solidifying his special relationships with both women. Rick nodded in agreement.

"In the mean time Daryl will have to keep making his deliveries," Rick said quietly. "But we're not giving them anymore of our ammo." Carol gave him a look of confusion and Daryl started to interject. "Relax," Rick stopped him. "I have another project for Eugene," he said with a smile. "He's going to reload shells, well, at least make it look like they're reloaded…"

Carol started to smile. "And they will think they're getting ammo… but when they go to use it…"

Daryl shook his head. "I don't know about this idea. I think we should keep giving them the real stuff until we figure out who the mole is…"

"Daryl, we can't. We're getting so low if we were attacked right now we would barely have enough to defend ourselves," Rick insisted.

"Fuck," Daryl sighed, looking very uneasy again. "I don't know…"

Carol offered her own boost of confidence. "Look, you've been doing what they asked for days. They have no reason to suspect that will change. They trust you're gonna continue your end of the bargain. It's gonna be okay." After a long look in her eyes he finally agreed with a slight nod.

Rick spoke again, "I'll go find those scanners and get Eugene working on them. I'm not gonna tell him why we need them, but I'll make sure he's working on them in private. He seems pretty good with Classified activities." Rick wandered off and left Daryl and Carol alone at the gate.

"You okay?" Carol asked. Daryl nodded again. "Are we okay?" she asked slowly.

"Mmm, hmm," he replied. "At least on my end we're good… I'm sorry I kept lying to you, but I just can't… I just can't lose you…"

"You won't," Carol said, looking into his eyes. She knew the feeling though. She knew the exact feeling she saw reflecting in his eyes. She couldn't lose him either and she was even more terrified to allow him to go back out there, knowing he wasn't just hunting. Carol was suddenly overwhelmed with the need to be with him - intimately. It wasn't necessarily a sexual urge, but more of a need to just escape and feel normal and close to him, if only for a few minutes.

"So there's not much we can do, but act normal for now…" Carol said, thinking about how much she needed to just hold him in her arms. "It's still pretty early… no one's up yet…" Daryl was looking at her curiously, trying to follow her train of thought. "We could go back to bed… for a few minutes…"

"Okay," he replied, with just a hint of a smile.

"One condition though," Carol added. "When we're together, while we're… You forget all the bad and just be with me. Just us. We shut the world out. I need that. You need that."

"Deal," he replied, brushing her hand with his in the little gesture he liked to use in public to show her affection.

By the time they got back to the house and upstairs to the room the sexual tension was insane. The physical need she felt for Daryl and the need for intimacy and the need for escape all added up to a fully charged powder keg, ready to explode. The look in his eyes told Carol he was at the same point.

The second they touched and fell into bed things did explode. Carol found the escape she'd been needing with their union. It was short lived, due to the sheer urgency of their lovemaking, but it really helped her emotional state, even afterwards. It was a reminder that, even surrounded by the worst kind of terror, she could still find salvation - with him.

"We're gonna get through this, I promise," Carol said, finding Daryl's hand and closing her eyes - just for a moment. She enjoyed the peaceful sound of his breathing and cleared her head completely. With a deep breath she sat up, ready to face the day. For the first time since everything happened she didn't mind in the least that Daryl stayed close. Not once did she feel suffocated and she actually felt slightly panicked when he was gone for very brief periods.

Carol wondered how long it would take people to notice Michonne's absence. Half way through the day she realized that they had to make a big deal of her disappearance or the mole would certainly know something was up. She decided that, given Michonne often came and went, they had a day or two to come up with a plan and added it to the long list of things that were stressing her. The stress and the day itself was exhausting, so she mercifully fell asleep quickly at bedtime.

The first time Carol saw Daryl's face upon his return the next morning she knew something was wrong. It took almost half an hour for them to find a moment alone, in a safe place, to talk. "What the hell is going on?" Carol asked, all the feelings of hope and optimism from the day before gone in an instant.

"When I got to the drop spot he was waiting…" Daryl started. "I usually just leave it and someone gets it after I'm gone. But today he was there… waiting... With Michonne…"

"Oh God, she's alive," Carol sighed with relief. It terrified her that Daryl didn't seem more relieved that Michonne was alive.

"For now," Daryl muttered. "If we want to keep her that way the ante has been upped." Carol felt her blood run cold. "They don't just want ammo anymore. I gotta start showing up with weapons too."


	7. Chapter 7

"Got you, you son of a bitch," Rick muttered with a smile, looking to Daryl.

"That's him," Daryl whispered, listening to the voice on the police scanner. Eugene had worked all morning and by lunch time he had the scanner working. The difficult part was sneaking around, trying to keep everything secret since they had no idea when the mole was watching.

Rick had packed up all the supplies and tools in a backpack and said he was taking a carepackage to Eugene who wasn't feeling well. They had Eugene fake the flu and he asked Jessie to stay away for the day to avoid catching it. Carol kept her busy to make sure she would keep her promise and not go and check on him.

Carol also started a rumbling through the community about the fact that Michonne was missing. Daryl had to admit, she was a damn good actress. No one would have a clue that Carol knew exactly where Michonne was, especially not the mole, whoever he was.

They were about to find out exactly who the mole was… "What the fuck?" Daryl mumbled in shock. "It's… it's… a woman?" He didn't know why he found that so surprising, given that any of the women he'd spent the last couple of years with could have easily acted as moles. But he'd just had it in his mind that they were looking for a man. This was an interesting development. He listened closely to the woman's voice informing the man on the other end that Carol had brought up the fact that Michonne was missing, but it didn't seem like she had any inkling of what might have happened to her.

Daryl recognized the voice. So did Rick. "Holly," he whispered, thinking back to the very first time he'd met her - when she was hitting on him at welcome party and Carol had rescued him. She'd been on the expansion crew, but she asked Carol recently about switching jobs. She told her a story about her grandma being native american and how she taught her a lot about botany and healing plants. She asked if she could help the expansion crew part time and spend a few days going out into the surrounding woods to gather plants. Carol thought it was a great idea, remembering how much Hershel believed in the healing properties of plants. Eventually they would run out of medecine so if Holly could start creating natural treatments it could be very beneficial.

It was all making sense now. They must have run into her while she was out and threatened her somehow. But Daryl had a strange feeling there was more going on. He'd always got weird vibes from Holly since turning her down that first night. And though she'd never been anything but kind to Carol's face… he was sure he caught Holly glaring at her a few times.

"So what's the plan?" he asked Rick, breaking the stunned silence.

He took a long deep breath before speaking. "We should monitor her for a couple days I think. Get an idea of the kind of things she's telling them. Then I say we take her hostage, use her to our advantage and assemble a team to go after them, get Michonne back."

Daryl thought about the plan and nodded in agreement. It made sense. They needed information before they could act. And they would definitely need to manipulate Holly at some point. Daryl hoped to hell she would cooperate. He hoped there was nothing malicious behind her intent. But he couldn't shake the feeling that he wasn't going to like her explanation for her behaviour when it came time for that.

"Gotta keep up the charade that everything is normal except we're worried about Michonne missing. Maybe we can somehow work a search party into an ambush… Or…" Rick suddenly had an idea. "Maybe you should make a point of telling us that you ran into Michonne when you were hunting and she said she was heading out for a few days to clear her head." Things were so confusing but Daryl tried to follow Rick's logic. "It might force a meeting with the boss guy again for you to explain why you did it. You tell him that we were organizing a search party and it would have impeded your ability to make your morning deliveries so you made up a lie."

By the time Rick was finished Daryl was fully on board with the plan. And now that they knew who the mole was they could be careful about what they said and where they said it, making sure Holly wasn't around. Dary felt fairly confident that she didn't have bugs planted anywhere, but there was still a slight possibility. Talking outside would always be the safest option.

They heard Holly arranging a meeting for that very afternoon. "Wonder what that's about?" Daryl asked Rick. She had the walkie talkie to report back, so why would she need to meet them face to face?

"Don't know… but I think we have to send someone to follow her and find out," Rick replied.

"I'll go," Daryl said quickly.

"Nope, it can't be you," Rick said. "You get caught and they're gonna know something is up. But if we send out someone else we can plan an excuse for them to use if Holly catches them."

Daryl wanted to be the one to go, but he knew Rick was right. They had to bring someone new into the mix. "Who?" It was a tough decision, given how potentially dangerous the task was. They could be sending someone to their death if they got caught, which meant it had to be someone who wouldn't get caught.

"I really want to send Glenn," Rick admitted. "But I can't do that to Maggie after everything he's been through already… What about Tara?" he suggested. "I know we can trust her and I think she has the skills. Glenn has taught her a lot…"

"Noah," Daryl replied. "Send Noah." As much as he didn't want to send the kid out there, Daryl had personally trained Noah and he was 100% confident that he could follow Holly undetected and get close enough to spy on the conversation. He also had incredible sharp shooting skills and could take out targets from a long way away if it came to that.

"Are you sure?" Rick asked, waiting for confirmation.

"Yeah," Daryl nodded. He'd pushed Noah away lately, trying to keep his secret and it would feel good for the kid to at least have an understanding of why.

"Okay," Rick said, putting a comforting hand on Daryl's shoulder. He knew how hard a decision it was for Daryl to make, even though it was the right decision. "Let's find Carol and fill her in and then you can meet up Noah and let him know what's going on."

Rick turned off the scanner, hid it away safely and they went to find Carol. They wandered through town talking very quietly, smiling and waving as they passed other residents. The three of them were getting pretty good at talking without being heard. Once Carol was up to speed Rick took off. They tried to limit the amount of time the three of them were seen together. With Carol being Mayor and Rick being the Sheriff it made sense they would have to meet quite frequently, but they still wanted to be careful not to arouse suspicion.

"Come with me for a minute," Carol said softly. She led him to their house and sat him down at the kitchen table. Carol moved closer and stood between his legs, pulling his head against her chest. "This is the right decision," she whispered, lightly playing with his hair. "No matter what happens this afternoon I want you to know that it's not on you. Rick and I completely agree and I am sure that Noah will be more than happy to do what needs to be done."

Daryl needed her words of encouragement and support. He knew it was the right decision, he really did. If anyone had a chance to get it right it was definitely Noah. And if he somehow got caught by Holly they would have a story prepared. But if he got caught by the others… well, that was the part Daryl didn't even want to think about. Part of him thought that they might spare Noah's life because he's so young. But his rational mind knew exactly what would happen.

He looked up at her and said thank you without speaking. He and Carol had a look they shared where they both knew exactly what the other was saying. She nodded and leaned over to kiss him. Daryl forced himself to keep it short and simple. He would have loved to just take her upstairs to bed and forget about everything for a little while. But he had to go find Noah, explain everything that happened and let him in on the plan.

And they also had to set the other plan into motion and start spreading the false truth that Michonne had told Daryl she was taking off for a few days. Everything was so messed up and confusing. Lives were at stake. Daryl didn't want to lose anyone else, especially not Michonne, or Noah. And certainly not Carol. He needed that woman more than anything else in the world.

They said their goodbyes and Daryl went to find Noah.

Carol left the house several minutes after Daryl. She was headed to talk to Maggie when she saw Holly heading towards the gates. It was just after noon. She shouldn't have been leaving that soon. Daryl hadn't even had a chance to get Noah ready yet. And Holly hadn't even come to ask Carol if she was allowed to go outside the gates.

"Holly," Carol called out, jogging to catch up. "Where are you going?" she asked. Carol was wracking her brain, trying to figure out a way to allow her to leave, yet still stall her long enough to give Noah time to be ready.

"Oh, I was just gonna go out and look for something to help Eugene. I heard he's got a flu bug or something," Holly replied sweetly.

"But you know I haven't cleared anyone to leave since Aaron…" her voice trailed off. It was still so fresh and hard to believe Aaron was really dead. She was used to him being gone for days at a time and he always came back. This time he wasn't coming back and it really hadn't sunk in yet.

"Oh I won't go very far," Holly replied. "I promise. And I'll be back in less than an hour."

"I don't know…" Carol started. She still hadn't figured out a way to stall.

"Please? There's this root that I can steep into a tea that I know will make Eugene feel so much better," Holly pleaded. If Carol didn't know the truth she would have admired the woman's desire to help out someone who was ill. But knowing why Holly was really going out there, that she had ulterior motives… just made Carol very angry.

She buried the rage and smiled. "Okay. I'm gonna allow it, but… you have a weapon, right?" Holly moved her shirt to reveal a handgun. "Only an hour or I'm sending people out to look for you…God… maybe this is a bad idea," Carol added, waffling back and forth. "With Michonne missing now too…"

"Oh, you haven't heard?" Holly replied. "I thought for sure you'd be the first to know," she gave her a suspicious look. "Daryl said that Michonne told him she was taking off for a few days. She wasn't actually captured."

Carol's mind was spinning as to how to play this new development. She didn't know Daryl started spreading the news yet or how damn fast it would spread once he did. "Of course I know," Carol said quickly. "But I didn't know he was telling people yet…" she muttered. "We were gonna keep it quiet for a while as one more reason to keep people on this side of the wall," Carol lied. "I'm gonna have to talk to him," she added in an irritated voice. She wanted Holly to think she was angry with Daryl for telling people.

"Maybe he just wanted to ease people's minds," Holly said gently. Carol knew she was doing a great job with her own acting, but she had to admit Holly was doing a damn good job as well.

"You're probably right, but I have to go find him," Carol said, clenching her jaw and keeping up the act that she was pissed off at her significant other. "Go ahead," she said to Holly, indicating that she could leave.

What a fucking mess, Carol thought. There was only one thing she could do now. Carol waited until Holly was outside the gate and closed it behind her with a wave. As soon as she disappeared into the woods Carol opened the gate… and took off after her.


End file.
